"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."
~From V for Vendetta
I want to waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bah.
On hindsight, that looks like something Yazid might come up with.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Apologies
To all the teachers I have ever given a hard time to, incited anyone to give a hard time to, ignored, rolled my eyes at, were bored at, made fun of, cracked jokes at, talked in class of, didn't pay attention to and was less than cooperative with:
I am truly heartily terribly most genuinely sincerely painfully regretfully a gazillion times sorry.
I don't believe in karma, but that should start me off on a clean slate, shouldn't it? Arghhhhh. I love the kids, I really do, but today was argh-ifying.
Thank God tomorrow's Friday. And that there's LV practice tonight. *breeeeeeathhhhe.
I am truly heartily terribly most genuinely sincerely painfully regretfully a gazillion times sorry.
I don't believe in karma, but that should start me off on a clean slate, shouldn't it? Arghhhhh. I love the kids, I really do, but today was argh-ifying.
Thank God tomorrow's Friday. And that there's LV practice tonight. *breeeeeeathhhhe.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Got this off Ondine's blog.
I'm an incurable procrastinator.
I havn't had as much fun jamming in ages as I had yesterday. And I can now play I will survive on acoustic bass, whoop *grinz.
Still havn't written the usp essay, although I've finally sent in my nus application. On tenterhooks for a call.
Brain not functioning smoothly. Probably a result of sleeping only 4 hours last night, and having to wake up to donkeys, cats, dogs and monkeys on my roof AND drag myself out of bed. There is no justice in this world. I've discovered a delight in caffeine. An iced mocha would be nice right about now.
|
I'm an incurable procrastinator.
I havn't had as much fun jamming in ages as I had yesterday. And I can now play I will survive on acoustic bass, whoop *grinz.
Still havn't written the usp essay, although I've finally sent in my nus application. On tenterhooks for a call.
Brain not functioning smoothly. Probably a result of sleeping only 4 hours last night, and having to wake up to donkeys, cats, dogs and monkeys on my roof AND drag myself out of bed. There is no justice in this world. I've discovered a delight in caffeine. An iced mocha would be nice right about now.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Found on random blog-surfed blog:
"Right now, however, I sit here mourning my crumbling uterus walls and silently blaming Eve for her Original Sin of greed over one stupid apple. Women."
*bursts out laughing.
*recovers.
*apologises for potential trauma caused to male readers of blog.
Yesterday was a good day. I'd been looking forward to it all week, and have been duly rewarded. I like where we're going, and this is just a start. Decisions have been made, plans will be carried out.
*sends subtle brain signals to relevant government body. Calllll meeeeee.
I sound like a whale.
(stop that thought. NOW. stoppit.)
I think I kinda like where I am. Yes, I'm aware that I've just contradicted my last post. But I'm complex, see. On the cusp of everything (and nothing, but that's not affecting me today). Cusp. I like that word. It's so crisp, and full of potential and HOPE.
(Am procrastinating. Don't mind the randomness.)
I like having things to do. And feeling useful. And although some times it feels like it's all gonna cave in, it never actually does (yes Shane, it's because I have Friends in High Places). Salsa lessons sound fun. Or maybe lindy hop. Or jazz. Or hip hop. I want to dance.
"Right now, however, I sit here mourning my crumbling uterus walls and silently blaming Eve for her Original Sin of greed over one stupid apple. Women."
*bursts out laughing.
*recovers.
*apologises for potential trauma caused to male readers of blog.
Yesterday was a good day. I'd been looking forward to it all week, and have been duly rewarded. I like where we're going, and this is just a start. Decisions have been made, plans will be carried out.
*sends subtle brain signals to relevant government body. Calllll meeeeee.
I sound like a whale.
(stop that thought. NOW. stoppit.)
I think I kinda like where I am. Yes, I'm aware that I've just contradicted my last post. But I'm complex, see. On the cusp of everything (and nothing, but that's not affecting me today). Cusp. I like that word. It's so crisp, and full of potential and HOPE.
(Am procrastinating. Don't mind the randomness.)
I like having things to do. And feeling useful. And although some times it feels like it's all gonna cave in, it never actually does (yes Shane, it's because I have Friends in High Places). Salsa lessons sound fun. Or maybe lindy hop. Or jazz. Or hip hop. I want to dance.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Pensive
Last night was the closest I've come to a meltdown in ages. And it was sparked off, literally, by nothing. Nothing-ness scares me. Emptiness. Loneliness. Being alone in the midst of a crowd. There are times when all I want is to be alone. But I don't ever want to feel alone. It was nothingness crowded in. Like a shadow, with light enfringing jaggedly at its sides. And I don't know what I want. To stay in the cool comfort of the shadow - silent, content; or to let in blinding light, and lose forever a refuge.
There's this sense of desperation, and a slight tinge of panic. About what? I don't know. Perhaps it's the realization, the slow but certain realization, that things are changing. That I am changing.
That it's in my character to let go, to leave behind, but still want to cling on. Memories are never enough. And even the beautiful happy ones are painful, because ultimately they're over. Never to be experienced again. There's this tremendous sense of loss for what has been, and what could have been which jarrs with the hope of what could be. You know moments which you want to last forever? That you want to be fully drenched in? Even if I could wish that into reality, I wouldn't know which to choose. And there'll always be something else you could do, something else you could be. There is no best thing, no most desired. Only what's accepted and lived.
But in some things there is truth. Truth which compels decisions and action. Action which I'm not sure I'm brave enough to take. Or able to be committed enough. Or right enough.
I don't like this period of not knowing. Of being on ground where I have, until a decision is made, no control, not even capacity for control. Where all my decisions and choices are based on "if" and "unless". "If" especially annoys me. I feel like I'm not committing to anything - and I like committing. But for now all my plans have to be short term. I suppose that's just how things are.
We live by faith and not by sight for you.
There's this sense of desperation, and a slight tinge of panic. About what? I don't know. Perhaps it's the realization, the slow but certain realization, that things are changing. That I am changing.
That it's in my character to let go, to leave behind, but still want to cling on. Memories are never enough. And even the beautiful happy ones are painful, because ultimately they're over. Never to be experienced again. There's this tremendous sense of loss for what has been, and what could have been which jarrs with the hope of what could be. You know moments which you want to last forever? That you want to be fully drenched in? Even if I could wish that into reality, I wouldn't know which to choose. And there'll always be something else you could do, something else you could be. There is no best thing, no most desired. Only what's accepted and lived.
But in some things there is truth. Truth which compels decisions and action. Action which I'm not sure I'm brave enough to take. Or able to be committed enough. Or right enough.
I don't like this period of not knowing. Of being on ground where I have, until a decision is made, no control, not even capacity for control. Where all my decisions and choices are based on "if" and "unless". "If" especially annoys me. I feel like I'm not committing to anything - and I like committing. But for now all my plans have to be short term. I suppose that's just how things are.
We live by faith and not by sight for you.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
what now
I'm back! Still tired, but slightly more rested. The trip was alright, fun in some places, not so in others but I'm not complaining :)
This song was playing in my head throughout the whole trip. And you know, what now is probably the most provoking, uneasiness causing question anyone could ask.
This song was playing in my head throughout the whole trip. And you know, what now is probably the most provoking, uneasiness causing question anyone could ask.
I saw the face of Jesus
In a little orphan girl
She was standing in the corner
On the other side of the world.
And I heard the voice of Jesus
Gently whisper to my heart
Didn't you say you wanted to find Me
Well, here I am
Here you are
So what now
What will you do now that you've found Me
What now
What will you do with this treasure youv'e found
I know I may not look like what you expected
But if you'll remember
This is right where I said I would be
You found Me
What now
And I saw the face of Jesus
Down on Sixteenth Avenue
He was sleeping in an old car
While his mum went looking for food
And I heard the voice of Jesus
Gently whisper to my soul
Didn't you say you wanted to know me
Well, here I am
And it's getting cold
So come and know
Come and know, know me now
Come, come and know, know me now
Oh, come and know
Come, come and know, know me now
Come, come and know, know me now
what now, Steven Curtis Chapman
What now? I don't know. Music ministry? Sure. But is that all? There's so much more I could do. We could do. And it's not that we dont know how. What now.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Eerily Romantic
I'll put a spell on you
You'll fall asleep
I'll put a spell on you
And when I wake you
I'll be the first thing you'll see
And you'll realise that you love me
Aqualung - Strange and Beautiful
Didn't go to school today, went to the doctor again instead. Planned to clear out my study room - get all the papers sorted out, books arranged, files neatened. Instead I popped my medicine, and am now falling asleep on the keyboard. Think I should take a nap before I go for my driving lesson. Wouldnt be wise to crash the Ubi school car.
I just realised. It's so A Midsummer Night's Dream.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Midweek, end of term
And still sick.
Me: I'll do almost anything to get rid of this stupid flu.
Friend-who-shall-not-be-named: Kiss me and I'll take it away from you.
Sigh. If only it were that easy.
Went for my first driving lesson yesterday - it was more fun than scary (yes, I expected it to be mildly apprehension-causing). And I love the feel of the accelerator. Purrr.
I also sent in my PSC application yesterday. All of it. And my results, to Trinity. Now I just have to wait and pray.
Come to think of it, I did lots of things yesterday. Went to Siglap CC (which used to have lovely, if old, badminton courts...well at least playable, if not lovely, but which has now been renovated into a space occupying Arts and Cultural Centre) to enquire about the Salsa dance classes. Sy love they start in April and end in June - fine by me, still wanna go? Went for band too, which though marred by our human-ness, was still as always deeply refreshing. Just the music alone, melody filled worship, was good enough.
The kids are halfway through Orientation 2 now, and the sounds of enthusiastic albeit slightly hoarse cheers are wafting up into the staff room. Brings back memories it does - of my 1st Orientation in TJ, which was amazing fun (and where I had not a few crushes on several seniors); of Ohana 2 and the E-comm, those crazy mass dance sessions and cheer sessions and Pepsi TWIST; of Genesis, the long overnighters we had, the fights, the stupid crazy ideas, those bloody pebbles, the video, the KOI POND. Honestly, those poor fish.
It all seems so long ago, yet so recent. And yet if you think about it, it's my 4th year here. Almost as long as I spent in KC. Sure, it's different, being on the "other side", but it's still the same. I don't know what I mean by that.
In May though, I'll be off somewhere else. Missing the kids like hell, but hey, people have to move on. And I don't know what I'll do then. Continue with comm work of course, and the youth ministries. But as for work? Real work? I don't know. Teach for a month in a secondary school? Or get an internship somewhere. But doing what? Waitress? Perhaps. It would be eye-opening, and novel. AND a job. But I'm such a butterfingers I'll probably be fired on the first day.
By May too I'll know where I'll be in October. Whether it'll be my third month in stolid, reliable NUS, or whether it'll be my first week in adreamcometrue. That's the funny thing about dreams. You dream a dream longlongago, then forget about it for years as that dream part of you bows down and retires humbly in the expanding presence of ambition. And you tell yourself those were the dreams of naiive childhood. Then one day you realise that that naiivity told the truth, and you abandon ambition - or at least you think you do, for the dream. As you work for it though, you realise that the dream WAS true ambition, and the ambition of teenagehood was really pride. False pride, in the acknowledgement that society, and thus you, had fallen for the lie that Science would rule. And in the refusal to follow your heart, the tacit submission to the status quo - that "brighter" kids do Science. That really, other than the fact that you've loved every subject you've done, you didn't want to be stereotyped as "the Arts student", even though you knew there was nothing wrong with that. And now, in retrospect, you see how childish that truly was. And admire the courage of those who had chosen it from the start.
This is a very long post.
I've got a sudden hankering for Fish and Co. The platter for two. Yum. I'm making my mouth water. Ohhhhh those chips.
Me: I'll do almost anything to get rid of this stupid flu.
Friend-who-shall-not-be-named: Kiss me and I'll take it away from you.
Sigh. If only it were that easy.
Went for my first driving lesson yesterday - it was more fun than scary (yes, I expected it to be mildly apprehension-causing). And I love the feel of the accelerator. Purrr.
I also sent in my PSC application yesterday. All of it. And my results, to Trinity. Now I just have to wait and pray.
Come to think of it, I did lots of things yesterday. Went to Siglap CC (which used to have lovely, if old, badminton courts...well at least playable, if not lovely, but which has now been renovated into a space occupying Arts and Cultural Centre) to enquire about the Salsa dance classes. Sy love they start in April and end in June - fine by me, still wanna go? Went for band too, which though marred by our human-ness, was still as always deeply refreshing. Just the music alone, melody filled worship, was good enough.
The kids are halfway through Orientation 2 now, and the sounds of enthusiastic albeit slightly hoarse cheers are wafting up into the staff room. Brings back memories it does - of my 1st Orientation in TJ, which was amazing fun (and where I had not a few crushes on several seniors); of Ohana 2 and the E-comm, those crazy mass dance sessions and cheer sessions and Pepsi TWIST; of Genesis, the long overnighters we had, the fights, the stupid crazy ideas, those bloody pebbles, the video, the KOI POND. Honestly, those poor fish.
It all seems so long ago, yet so recent. And yet if you think about it, it's my 4th year here. Almost as long as I spent in KC. Sure, it's different, being on the "other side", but it's still the same. I don't know what I mean by that.
In May though, I'll be off somewhere else. Missing the kids like hell, but hey, people have to move on. And I don't know what I'll do then. Continue with comm work of course, and the youth ministries. But as for work? Real work? I don't know. Teach for a month in a secondary school? Or get an internship somewhere. But doing what? Waitress? Perhaps. It would be eye-opening, and novel. AND a job. But I'm such a butterfingers I'll probably be fired on the first day.
By May too I'll know where I'll be in October. Whether it'll be my third month in stolid, reliable NUS, or whether it'll be my first week in adreamcometrue. That's the funny thing about dreams. You dream a dream longlongago, then forget about it for years as that dream part of you bows down and retires humbly in the expanding presence of ambition. And you tell yourself those were the dreams of naiive childhood. Then one day you realise that that naiivity told the truth, and you abandon ambition - or at least you think you do, for the dream. As you work for it though, you realise that the dream WAS true ambition, and the ambition of teenagehood was really pride. False pride, in the acknowledgement that society, and thus you, had fallen for the lie that Science would rule. And in the refusal to follow your heart, the tacit submission to the status quo - that "brighter" kids do Science. That really, other than the fact that you've loved every subject you've done, you didn't want to be stereotyped as "the Arts student", even though you knew there was nothing wrong with that. And now, in retrospect, you see how childish that truly was. And admire the courage of those who had chosen it from the start.
This is a very long post.
I've got a sudden hankering for Fish and Co. The platter for two. Yum. I'm making my mouth water. Ohhhhh those chips.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Bugged!
I swear there's a bug going around. A sore-throat causing, grumpiness-inducing, crabby mood-inspiring bug. Half the youth min has it, and the kids at school are coming down with it too. I was feeling positively miserable yesterday, but have happily recovered enough to actually SPEAK (and thus whine, to my sister's misfortune) today, so all is good. *grinz.
While we're on the subject of my sister, she came home yesterday and presented me, her poor, sick, unwillingly silent sister a magnet/plaque reading:
While we're on the subject of my sister, she came home yesterday and presented me, her poor, sick, unwillingly silent sister a magnet/plaque reading:
I'm smiling because
you're my sister.
I'm laughing
because you can't do
anything about it.
And I'm ordered to thank her. Sheesh.
It's always like this you know. I never get sick before stressful events, only after. So while everybody is out partying and celebrating, I'm stuck at home. Bah. AND I'll have to miss Amplify prayer meet today. Double bah. Ohwell. Hopefully I'll be well enough to go for the Warwick reception tonight. And my cousin's baptism tomorrow. And the Lenten Vigil Music team's inaugral meeting after that. Please please pleeeeeeeease.
Alright. I WILL finish my essay. Right now.
Something tells me I'm into something good.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Buddies
These are the people I spend Tuesdays
(Shane has scary eyes) and Fridays
with.
Efforts in a certain crutial area are being thwarted by mindless bureaucracy. What happened to pen and paper?! Gah.
Looking forward to tonight.
Happy :)
Thrilled, and humbly grateful to Him I could have done nought without.
Into marvellous light I'm running
Into marvellous light I'm running
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Productive.
Well, kinda. This weekend I:
1. Went for a UCL exhibition. Not too impressed, but convinced myself that it wasn't going to be one of my choices, so that's fine.
2. Chilled out with the Amplify music team. Am very comfortable, and it's nice to be one of the youngest for a change.
3. Played for Youth Mass. It was...brilliant. Still don't know who the priest was, and I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with everything he did. But Mass was, as usual, recharging. And beautiful. Hair-standingly so :)
4. Went for softball practice at St. Stephens'. Never played softball before, glove hand hurts. And I now know I cannot pitch because I can't lob a straight ball. I can bat though. So all hope is not lost. Am also slightly browner hehe.
5. Met Aaron and PS for lunch at Essential Brew in Holland V. (Here's the shocker: I've never been to Holland V. At least not within living memory, although my mum insists we used to go there all the time when we were really young.) Explored, found quaint bead shop, saw places I want to go back to, and Aaron I do not sulk. Scowl.
6. Bought a Corrine May CD (Fly away) - my first CD purchase in three years. So you see, her putting her entire new album on her website was a stroke of genius. I fell in love with it enough to want to get her CD. Although conversely, a friend of mine just plans to rip the entire thing. (Which is wrong, just so you know.) I think I'll go back to buying my own CDs. Had forgotten how nice it was to have and to hold. *grinz.
See? Oh and I also slotted in doing whatever work I had planned to do in between. So my weekend was productive. Mainly to keep my mind off the impending opening of Pandora's Box. But also because I've decided to make full use of my time. With personal reasons. And am glad tis so. :)
"God's got me covered."
1. Went for a UCL exhibition. Not too impressed, but convinced myself that it wasn't going to be one of my choices, so that's fine.
2. Chilled out with the Amplify music team. Am very comfortable, and it's nice to be one of the youngest for a change.
3. Played for Youth Mass. It was...brilliant. Still don't know who the priest was, and I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with everything he did. But Mass was, as usual, recharging. And beautiful. Hair-standingly so :)
4. Went for softball practice at St. Stephens'. Never played softball before, glove hand hurts. And I now know I cannot pitch because I can't lob a straight ball. I can bat though. So all hope is not lost. Am also slightly browner hehe.
5. Met Aaron and PS for lunch at Essential Brew in Holland V. (Here's the shocker: I've never been to Holland V. At least not within living memory, although my mum insists we used to go there all the time when we were really young.) Explored, found quaint bead shop, saw places I want to go back to, and Aaron I do not sulk. Scowl.
6. Bought a Corrine May CD (Fly away) - my first CD purchase in three years. So you see, her putting her entire new album on her website was a stroke of genius. I fell in love with it enough to want to get her CD. Although conversely, a friend of mine just plans to rip the entire thing. (Which is wrong, just so you know.) I think I'll go back to buying my own CDs. Had forgotten how nice it was to have and to hold. *grinz.
See? Oh and I also slotted in doing whatever work I had planned to do in between. So my weekend was productive. Mainly to keep my mind off the impending opening of Pandora's Box. But also because I've decided to make full use of my time. With personal reasons. And am glad tis so. :)
"God's got me covered."
Friday, February 24, 2006
Nerves.
It's official. The 2005 A-level results will be released Wednesday, 1st March at 2pm.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
How to know when you've lost all hope of ever growing up in your mother's eyes
Me: XXX is cute.
Mum: He's got a girlfriend.
Me: I know. But he still makes for good eyecandy.
Mum (whilst walking out the house to go for some late night hokkien mee): Focus girl. PSLE.
Me: ?!?!?!?!
Dad (who previously cleverly abstained from commenting on aforesaid conversation): Guffaw.
Sigh. And for those waiting for rumours, rumour has it D-Day's next Wed. See you then.
Mum: He's got a girlfriend.
Me: I know. But he still makes for good eyecandy.
Mum (whilst walking out the house to go for some late night hokkien mee): Focus girl. PSLE.
Me: ?!?!?!?!
Dad (who previously cleverly abstained from commenting on aforesaid conversation): Guffaw.
Sigh. And for those waiting for rumours, rumour has it D-Day's next Wed. See you then.
yourdictionary.com's Word of the Day is...
gound. That's right, gound. And apparently it means: "The extraneous matter that collects in the corners of the eyes during sleep (often called "sleep" itself in the U.S.)" Hmm. That would be the icky sticky white stuff I get across my eyes sometimes in the morning. How's that for an excuse to call in sick: "I'm sorry, I can't come in today, I've got gound." Sounds like some nasty infection.
It's the post midweek lethargy. I came home today, sat on the couch and fell asleep without knowing it. Sat. Till my bumbling goof of a retriever comes bounding onto my stomach. Well at least he's somewhat useful. (I won't deny it's adorable though.) Still, I'm headed for CSC in about half an hour, and that's enough to make anyone high. *grinz.
Orite this is for the band. Tomorrow, 6pm, dinner at Dragon Valley. Yup, that's the one next to Phoenix Nest and opposite Serpents' Cove. (Chai Chee.) Then we'll go for practice ok? Yay for band bonding.
Dinner's served. Byeeeeeeeeeeeee.
It's the post midweek lethargy. I came home today, sat on the couch and fell asleep without knowing it. Sat. Till my bumbling goof of a retriever comes bounding onto my stomach. Well at least he's somewhat useful. (I won't deny it's adorable though.) Still, I'm headed for CSC in about half an hour, and that's enough to make anyone high. *grinz.
Orite this is for the band. Tomorrow, 6pm, dinner at Dragon Valley. Yup, that's the one next to Phoenix Nest and opposite Serpents' Cove. (Chai Chee.) Then we'll go for practice ok? Yay for band bonding.
Dinner's served. Byeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Jumping on the Bandwagon
Since I've got nothing much to talk about, and everybody seems to be talking about the Johari's Window, I figured I'll just jump on the bandwagon.
Oh but I had the most wonderful time yesterday. And it was all thanks to these people:
Fifteen out of twenty-seven is a pretty good number I'll say. :) And aren't you proud that I got my curfew extended? 2 hours more is a looong time you know. AND I maintain that I did not look like a kid in that outfit. I like that outfit. *sulk.
Right. School tomorrow. Need sleep. Wish they would tell us when the results will be out. I hate this waiting.
Edit: I was supposed to credit someone for sharing the picture with all the bands with me, so here goes. Someone is....*drum roll* SHANE! One of the members of my church youth band, of which I will get a photo of this Tuesday. Hmm. Lots of ofs there.
Arena(known to self and others) friendly, idealistic, patient | Blind Spot(known only to others) able, bold, brave, calm, caring, clever, complex, confident, dependable, giving, helpful, independent, intelligent, introverted, knowledgeable, logical, loving, mature, nervous, observant, quiet, reflective, religious, searching, self-assertive, sentimental, shy, silly, tense, trustworthy, warm, witty |
Façade(known only to self) accepting, happy | Unknown(known to nobody) adaptable, cheerful, dignified, energetic, extroverted, ingenious, kind, modest, organised, powerful, proud, relaxed, responsive, self-conscious, sensible, spontaneous, sympathetic, wise |
All Percentages
able (20%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (10%) brave (20%) calm (30%) caring (10%) cheerful (0%) clever (10%) complex (20%) confident (10%) dependable (20%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (30%) giving (30%) happy (0%) helpful (20%) idealistic (10%) independent (10%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (10%) introverted (10%) kind (0%) knowledgeable (10%) logical (10%) loving (10%) mature (20%) modest (0%) nervous (10%) observant (10%) organised (0%) patient (20%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (20%) reflective (10%) relaxed (0%) religious (40%) responsive (0%) searching (20%) self-assertive (20%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (20%) shy (10%) silly (30%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (10%) trustworthy (10%) warm (10%) wise (0%) witty (20%)
Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 27.2.2006, using data from 10 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view liferockz's full data.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view liferockz's full data.
Oh but I had the most wonderful time yesterday. And it was all thanks to these people:
Fifteen out of twenty-seven is a pretty good number I'll say. :) And aren't you proud that I got my curfew extended? 2 hours more is a looong time you know. AND I maintain that I did not look like a kid in that outfit. I like that outfit. *sulk.
Right. School tomorrow. Need sleep. Wish they would tell us when the results will be out. I hate this waiting.
Edit: I was supposed to credit someone for sharing the picture with all the bands with me, so here goes. Someone is....*drum roll* SHANE! One of the members of my church youth band, of which I will get a photo of this Tuesday. Hmm. Lots of ofs there.
Friday, February 17, 2006
omg are you falling in love again?
That's my best friend's reply to an innocent question regarding the identity of one of the many people she has linked on her blog. I'm scandalized!!!! Was it really that obvious?
But the blog was written beautifully. If I could fall in love with words...and I could...but you know, that's what scares me. Blogs are all about facades and appearances. You can craft what you say, what you want people to know. What you're reading now - you've no way of knowing if this is just what I think, or what I want you to think I think, or what I think I want you to think I think - or even what I think about you.
Come to think of it, isn't that true in more and more situations? When everything is written down, and sent after an interim period which allows for thought (think sms, msn, email), EVERYTHING is crafted. Even speech if you really think about it. The interjections we all have in our everyday lives (hmm, well, you know, i think..., ah...) give us time to become what we aren't. How do we know what we aren't? Do you? Do I? Maybe I'm so caught up in a persona, I don't know who I truly am. But isn't that a construct in itself? "Who I truly am." Someone has got to decide that.
"You're looking in all the wrong places lah dude."
p.s. Happy Birthday Aaron.
But the blog was written beautifully. If I could fall in love with words...and I could...but you know, that's what scares me. Blogs are all about facades and appearances. You can craft what you say, what you want people to know. What you're reading now - you've no way of knowing if this is just what I think, or what I want you to think I think, or what I think I want you to think I think - or even what I think about you.
Come to think of it, isn't that true in more and more situations? When everything is written down, and sent after an interim period which allows for thought (think sms, msn, email), EVERYTHING is crafted. Even speech if you really think about it. The interjections we all have in our everyday lives (hmm, well, you know, i think..., ah...) give us time to become what we aren't. How do we know what we aren't? Do you? Do I? Maybe I'm so caught up in a persona, I don't know who I truly am. But isn't that a construct in itself? "Who I truly am." Someone has got to decide that.
"You're looking in all the wrong places lah dude."
p.s. Happy Birthday Aaron.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
E V E R Y T H I N G I N I T S T I M E
Written by Corrinne May Ying Foo & Carole Bayer Sager
Copyright 2001 Corrmay Gourmet Music (ASCAP) / All About Me Music adm. by Warner Tamerlane Publishing Corp. (BMI)
Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round
Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see
The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time
Had dinner today with someone I've known for a pretty long time...and it's true what they say. The old friends are the best. Had much fun :)
Is it a good thing to not be able to stay angry? I wonder.
Sometimes things happen, and I wonder if I really want to leave. Then I remind myself that I may never get the chance to. But then my mind tells me, "just assuming..." and I wonder.
Why do I push some people away, and want others closer to me, even when I know that the people I'm pushing away may be nicer than those I want close? I wonder.
Is there really someone for everybody? Matched up, in a Divine Plan. And are we sure to meet each other, be it through a match-made relationship or a hollywood-esque one? What if I keep looking for the One, and miss The one? I wonder.
You could be next to an angel in disguise.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Valentine's Day
and dateless. In a sense anyhoo. Not sure if I mind or not. Seeing that I don't actually have a crush on anyone right now (come to think of it, it's been a while since I've had a crush), I don't think I should feel that bad.
Anyway, someone shared this picture with me. And it's so cool, I decided to share it with you:
Anyway, someone shared this picture with me. And it's so cool, I decided to share it with you:
Now tell me. There are 75 bands/music artistes in this picture. How many can you name? Leave a comment. (And yes, this is a desperate attempt to make myself feel good about the number of people who do read my blog.)
I'll just leave it at this then. Going for YMM later. Come to think of it, I do have a date. 8 boys and keyboards. Ooooh nice. *wink.
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