I feel like jell-o.

Eek.


*sob.

Random stranger: "Hey, you look familiar. Do I know you?"

Me: "Um, no, I don't think so."

Random stranger: "Oh. Oh well. I knew I was having a bad day."


'Twas mildly amusing, and alright, I admit, a tad flattering too. Haha so cassanovas don't ALL ignore me. (And here I put in the long-bugged-for mention of a particular currently bald colleague who's not bad at flirting himself. Heh.)

I'm having one of those days where you don't feel like doing anything at all, which is bad cuz I promised one of my classes they'll get their essays back tomorrow. And I'm supposed to fax Cambridge the accomodation form they say they havn't recieved (!). AND figure out a couple of songs for Friday. And actually get myself round to moving past the Wife of Bath. And finish setting the vocab quiz for the kids.

See it's so bad even looking at that list doesn't work.

The tinkling opening lines of O Praise Him are playing on my wmp. The amoeba lite band (har har) is missing a 4th musician, sigh. Bass drums and keys are fine, but there are some things we just can't do. SB why can't you join us online and in real time why why whyyy. Stomp! *grinz.

Toot you have no idea how much I miss you. Haha.

She listens like spring and she talks like june

And the beat goes on

Just two more pictures, I promise.

Rockstar/crooner/stealerofjcgirls'hearts Rahmat

The Vice-Presidents. We get cuter every year I tell ye.

It's almost August. July just flew by. Got dmy visa done today, and it'll be ready for collection by Thurs. I PASSED MY DRIVING!!! With a mere 12 points. *grinz. Got the bags I'll be bringing with me. Beginning to seriously look for a bargain for a MacBook. Getting nervous and slightly peeved with myself for not settling down and really reading the Chaucer books I've got in my cupboard. And being antsy about not having my reading list/any other sort of news from Cam yet.

Reading blogs of kids who've already left or whose departures are more impending than mine, I wonder how it's really gonna be like.

Nothing earth shattering to say today. Other than I wish they'd stop fighting. They encompassing everybody. If we can't bring ourselves to love, can't we at least bring ourselves to let live?

unmasked.untarnished.

You Are Rowlf the Dog

Mellow and serious, you enjoy time alone cultivating your talents. You're a cool dog, and you always present a relaxed vibe. A talented pianist, you can play almost anything - especially songs by Beethoven. "My bark is worse than my bite, and my piano playing beats 'em both."

The Muppet Personality Test

Haha. Accurate-ish.

Thank you all for coming for council day, those who came for council day. I had a blast :)

And I like my costume:

That's me in the costume shop (Masquerade, on Bali Lane), with a bit of Tuan in a pirate costume. Oh what the heck. I'll give the guy a break:

Although he didn't come on the day itself. Now for the day itself:

Before the event...the reception girls. Wan Ni, child of Chucky (without the dagger) masquerading as a TASC 15 year old, Jing the wannabe Indian dancer, Ai Ling the Jap school girl, Hafi the gypsy and me the princess :p

The emcees. Yazid has pink FRILLS.

The Princess, The Gentleman and The Gypsy

The 27th, Hosts of Unmasked, the Masquerade. Scary Vampire lady is Zub (she kept appearing in people's photos). 60s chick is Han Nee.

Demo-ing the catwalk

The 30th's mass dance showcase. Brilliantly done.


mp10's surprise. Thanks guys, you gave the night extra magic :)

And it ended on a high. Sing along with Rahmat (No, that's still Yazid, pretending to be useful. Rahmat's on the other side of the cameraman).

And the reason is you.

Here's to the nights we felt alive

It was amazing. I reached there early, at 6, and walked into the playden, and it was AMAZING. It's kind of like a black box, but bigger - David Marshall's old rooms converted into a theatre which seats 145. The seats are in a U, so that the performers on stage, or rather, the floor, are surrounded on three sides. And the acoustics in there are brilliant.

Then the main show walked in. Three of the most friendly, gregarious and supportive-for-someone-who's-never-done-this-before-and-beginning-to-wonder-what-she-had-gotten-herself-into people I've ever met. They explained what it was they normally do, demonstrated, off the cuff, what the items were like, let me try some improv stuff with them, told me I'll be fine, and then it was time for the show to start.

About 50ish people, including my dad, toot (i lurrrve you), her friend and shane (blueberry muffin! and yes, sushi). Mostly expats, followers of the local and international improv scene, but quite a few locals and obvious first-timers as well. A little shy in the beginning, but nothing a little warm-up couldn't solve. I started off pretty tense, not quite sure when to do what and how, (and royally screwed up riverdance and the pirates. but to my defence...RIVERDANCE?! think i've gotta start listening to more styles. *grinz.) but, nevertheless, laughing my head off. Had the most fun playing for the musical segment, though again I think I need to work on range of styles. Oooh perfect excuse for getting random CDs whoopeeee~

The above doesn't do it justice. Twas amazing, I was amazed, and I can't wait to do it again. :)

On a more sober note...I miss mp10. Meeting sy today (let's go costume shopping babe), but missing the mp10 outing on saturday. And they'd all be there. *sulk. Eunice you're not helping either: "don't worry babe, lots of pressure :)". Sigh. I'll be around the area though, I'll drop by if I can.

There's not much time left, is there? And many promises to be kept. Though my mind keeps going, "it's only eight weeks! How bad could eight weeks be? And you WANT to be there!" And, in all honesty, I do. It's a dream come true, and though the real excitement hasn't set in yet (don't worry, I'll warn you when it does), there's this thrill of happiness every time I think about it.

I think I'm not naturally someone who forms close bonds, as sad as that may sound. I mean, I can get close to a person. And be close to a person. And miss him/her like hell when they're not around. But I don't collapse when it happens. I have moments of "what am I gonna do without her/him", but it's not dread. It doesn't mean I love any of you less though. The non-feeling scares me sometimes, but I guess it's something I'll have to get used to. Intellectually and gut-feelingly I know it's going to be tough as hell. But emotionally? No warning yet. Wonder if that's normal. Heh.

As for the title of this post. I felt alive last night. And I guess the more I feel that, the harder it'll be to move on. There's much wisdom in those lyrics. If you don't feel life you'll never feel death, although death is hardly what I'm moving on to. It's a brand new stage, and I can't wait...but like an old friend said, things won't be the same any more.

Here's to the times we knew we'd cry
Here's to goodbye, tomorrow's gonna come too soon

And smack in the middle of a rather bad week...

Me (reading off quiz paper): One of the largest asteroids brushed past Earth on 3rd July. Though many of them have gone past in the last few years, this has been one of the largest and it has also been classified as a...?

Boy, half-serious: Very Big Rock?


Sigh. I love the kids.

This time

This time last year, I had just recieved my jct results. They were alright. Not bad, but not fantastic either.

This time last year, I spent more time with mp10 then I did with family. Not because they just happened to be there, but because they were there. More comfort and support to me than they'd every guess.

This time last year, I was struggling to start on my personal statement for the UCAS application. And fretting about whether I should apply for Cambridge or not.

This time last year, music had faded into a painful, throbbing memory of 'I wish I could'.

This time last year, I told myself I don't want to do anything but teach.

This time last year, I couldn't imagine life without the people I was with. Or life after the As. Or drawing my own salary and spending my own money.

Now, I've just finished marking jct papers. And am writing reports. And am comforting distressed year ones (and twos, who probably have more to be distressed about).

Now, I spend most of my week with family. And it feels good. mp10 has, as all groups of friends do, dispersed; some into relative oblivion (or tekong), some into relative reclusiveness, and some only for a couple of weeks at a time, before demanding they see you again (hello sy =)).

Now, I'm trying to find a date for my visa application. And am coming up with a to bring list. And fretting about whether I'll be able to get a ticket through the ballot. And just remembered I may not have posted my accomodation application, eek.

Now, I'm in a band that's family. Am missing a band that's also family, albeit younger (you are, you know.) And have a gig, and potentially more, tomorrow.

Now, I still want to teach. But I want to act too. And dance. And LEARN.

Now, I still can't imagine life without the people I'm with. But I won't have to be imagining in about 10 weeks. Life after the As has been more than I could ask for. And I'm beginning to see the need to budget. Heh.

Time flies, doesn't it. I was talking to alice and totsy yesterday, trying to find a day to go out. And I said my July's packed, and so's the beginning of August. The end of August will be a flurry of marking and giving back papers. And then it's September. And they said yes. And then it's September. And in both windows there was a brief silence. And then: yeah. Yeah. then it's September. And once it's September, the days will fly by. And then that brief silence again.

And I'm torn between amusement at the sentimentality (from guys who claim rebel status/complete uniqueness), annoyance at the sentimentality (it's only 8 weeks!), and sentimentality itself.

I want to write music like Corrinne May.

Not being able to write what I hear makes me want to cry.

Oh and the lyrics help too.

This is not angst. This is...uh...I blame the waning of the moon.

if i kissed you

Have you ever wondered? I mean...we've all got crushes don't we? Ever wondered what would have happened if...yeah. Yeah.

Un-named friend: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Me: Uh. What.

Un-named friend: Nothing. Seeing you online makes me happy. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!





Why. Me.

on my desk

there is...

a pretty deep deep blue chinese motif fabric purse acting as my pencil box. it was so pretty i couldn't resist.

there are...

way too many unmarked scripts, which i'm unfortunately proving very able to resist.

there is...

an empty marigold peel fresh apple & aloe vera juice carton, the remnants of my "councildaynextweekiwannawearaprettydress" diet lunch.

there are...

tiny crumbs of biscuit mixed with chocolate, the remnants of my "everybodyneedsabreakSOMETIME" not-so-diet thingabajing.

there is...

a red red rose given to me for valentine's day by my parents. my ONLY valentine's day present. how sad is that.

there are...

in my laptop at least, pictures of the kids, the band, the best friends, the non-kids (yes, mark and shane, ye who refuse to respond to kiddo) and the classmates. they make me happy :)

And, for the health education of the public, I hereby announce to you, in great concern, that according to one of the top 10 percentile of our nation's 17 year olds, the H5N1 virus CAN be transmitted by human-to-human contraception. See? The Church was right. Contraception kills.