I want my uncle toby's muesli bar

I hate it when people clear my room. Just because it's messy doesn't mean I don't know where things are. and it's MY room. And now I don't know where anything is, which sucks when you have a sudden craving for an uncle toby's muesli bar, and it's raining so I cant go buy another one. *sulks*

Just watched saturday night's movie - "Someone Like You". Sweet. Just like "Keeping the Faith". I guess they're supposed to be feel good movies, but they still leave a bittersweet after-taste in the back of your mind.

"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."

-Blaise Pascal

The fact that Pascal is male proves that there is still hope for the rest of them. Thank God men aren't like cows. (20 points to anyone who knows what I'm talking about.) Most of them anyway.

It was a pretty ok week - the maths test wasn't too bad, although I think I screwed up Econs again. To quote my GP tutor: "Valerie! Time management!" I can't believe I failed that essay. I think my English is detoriating. My writing skills, anyway. I can't write a short story without cringing at the cliche-ness of my phrasing. Although the ideas are still there. Extremely frustrating. Even GP essays are beginning to stump me. Nooooooooooooooo!!!

I feel like everything I say or think has been said or thought before. Which is immensely depressing, believe me. It's like living a script. Even my songs sound cliche. Ahhhh the horror. I need a change. Something. Anything. Maybe I should invent an alter ego. (Sheesh. Even that's unoriginal.)

Unbreakable

or so they say. I don't believe anyone really is.

this week was - weird. feelings wise anyway. i guess it was all compounded by all the tests and essays due. econs tomorrow, and i don't feel like studying. at all. mood swings are sucky.

Sometimes I get emotional

Sometimes I do some stupid things

Sometimes I say what I should just keep inside

Sometimes I'm sad about everything

Sometimes I'm mad and break some things

Sorry times 10 but you just got in the way

Don't give up now running away

I won't hurt you sometimes I'm just a pain

And that's the way it is

That's just the way I am

Sometimes I feel like crying

Laying down and dying

That's when I need you

Laughing's always easy, but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me

That's when I feel emotional[fade]

You say I'm just impossible

Totally unpredictable

I'm just a girl get used to it

No big deal

You can't change me why would you try?

I'm no angel but I can make you smile

And that's the way it is

That's just the way I am

Sometimes I feel like crying

Laying down and dying

That's when I need you

Laughing's always easy but,

sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me

That's when I feel emotional

Don't give upI won't hurt you

Oh, sometimes I'm just a pain

And that's the way it is

That's just the way I am

That's when I need you

Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me

That's when I feel oh yeah

That's when I need you

Sometimes I get emotional[fade]

That's just the way I am

Sometimes I feel like crying

Laying down and dying

That's when I need you

Laughing's always easy but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me

That's when I feel emotional

Apt. I know just what she means. Except, i wish i knew who the you was.

Take a deep breath

and plunge right in.

I spent most of the week doing nothing. Totally unproductive. And it was such a free week too. Or would have been. Everthing's ok now though, so that's good.

Valentine's Day tomorrow. The global conspiracy to make all singles feel inadequate and out of place. Nobody would guess it was originally a day celebrating the martyrdom of Saint Valentine. The wonders of commercialism and business sense never cease.

No matter. Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. Don't let the bastards get you down. Courtesy of Margaret Atwood, A Handmaid's Tale. Cool book, but definitely disturbing. Like all books about dystopias. Except this one seems more real, somehow. I bought it today at about 3pm, and I finished reading it before dinner. Haha...talk about page turner.

Anyways. Not in the mood for writing poems today. 've got a boey essay due tomorrow, and readings to prepare for econs S. AND i havn't finished with mp10's Friendship Day presents. Yes, i've been suckered.

Would you believe, they postponed Ash Wednesday to Friday, because it fell on the first day of CNY. So begins Lent. A period of 40 days of prayer, penance and charity. And a chance for me to grow closer to Him again.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him may not die but have eternal life."

He died for me, and I'm brooding about a lonely Valentine's Day. If that doesn't make for a paradigm shift, i don't know what does. Still. Falling asleep feeling lonely isn't the nicest feeling, is it?

I'm trying to figure out why all my blogger instructions are in Chinese. Hrm. Ah well. I should get down to the essay. Happy Valentine's Day to you lucky people in mutual love, and to the rest of us - well, what doesnt kill us makes us stronger, no? Keep your hands off sharp objects, and necks of irritating show-offing couples. Tuesday's only a day away. *grinz*

Week 6 baby

And life does get better. You stand up, look around, pick up the pieces that are worth bending down for, and walk away. Let go, close up, and choose wisely the next time around.

I never wanna fall in love with someone I don't know like my best friend. And I found my list of 10 things I want in a guy haha.

1. Someone who isn’t afraid to fight me when I’m wrong – then we kiss and make up.

2. The guy who can make me laugh through my tears.

3. Someone who isn’t afraid to laugh at me or himself.

4. Someone who respects me, and someone I respect.

5. Someone who trusts me completely, and someone I trust completely.

6. Someone who knows when to be there, and when to just leave me alone.

7. Someone who knows me as well as I know myself – and vice versa.

8. Someone passionate about life and living – who enjoys the small things in life, and enjoys them more together with me.

9. Someone who loves me as much as I love him.

10. Someone I can spend forever with and never ever get bored.

Yup. I should take advantage of this surprisingly cheery mood, and get on with homework - before Valentine's Day blues take over. Contrary to popular opinion, singing love song dedications to 15, 16 and 17 yr olds who are madly in love with each other NEVER improves one's mood.

I sound jealous even to myself. Hrm. Singlehood rocks, though it'll be nice to have someone to share everything with. Although at the rate things are going, I'll never be around a group of people long enough to form friendships strong enough to develop into relationships. Sigh. My bad, i suppose.

Still, life rockz. As long as I keep the end in mind.