Good Luck for the As everyone. See you Dec! 

There are no more chocolates in the fridge.

Even the chocs have abandoned me. My life is over.

On a lighter note, I'm anti-relationship again. Whoop. Feel the liberation babes.

Things done today: 1 paper. 1 bloody paper. What did you say Val? Oh yes. My life is over.

Argh I've been tagged (Day 21)

Seven things I plan to do before I die:

1. Teach in a mission school in Africa
2. Fall madly in love, get married, and have 7 kids :) (And still be madly in love through it all)
3. Run barefoot on a beach, with the wind in my hair and the sound of crashing waves in my ears
4. Perform in a bona fide concert
5. Write a book
6. Learn the drums, saxophone, violin, congas (ok yes, i know I'm cheating.)
7. Impact someone's life

Seven Celebrity Crushes:

*erm. I don't have celebrity crushes.

Seven Often Repeated Words/Phrases:

1. Life
2. Rockz :)
3. Uhuh.
4. Ah...
5. *grinz*
6. Will you shut up. (predominantly to my sister. But also to 2 rather tall people.)
7. I'm FAT. *scowls*

Seven Physical Traits I Look For In The Opposite Sex:

1. Smile
2. Eyes
3. Not shorter than me. (Not hard to be.)

*I'm not really into physical. Not really.

Non-physical determinants?

Ah. He's gotta be able to make me laugh even when I want to cry. Definitely must be able to tolerate my sister, because otherwise he wouldn't last. We've gotta click, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Since I'm not really good at expressing my feelings, he's gotta have some amount of security and confidence - preferably more than I have. Funny, serious, sweet, gruff, loving, lovable, nuts, sane (no, he doesn't have to be perfect.) And we've gotta be best best bestest friends.

Seven People I'm Tagging:

1. Jannie
2. Toot
3. Aaron (humour me.)
4. Nessa (if she can find her blog.)
5. Weizhen
6. Dhanabanana
7. Linus. If only to get him to blog again.

Right. So that's that.

Farewell was today. Nice :) Pics will be up shortly.

Well. 21 days. Interview's in a week, exactly. I think I'm reading up more for the interview and written test than studying for the As. Haha. OHwell.

Y, if you actually do read this, take care of yourself yeah. Worry-er. Hmph. And have fun.
A, I know you read this. Tendonitis. Genius. Age shouldnt be the issue.
M, if you need to talk, msg anytime yeah.

Yam. Hmm.

Bye-o.





Once a TJcian, Always a TJcian.

Well, it's finally almost over isn't it. 3 years in TJ, 2 days to go. I'm never really any good at reminisces. They tend to get stuck somewhere between my heart and my throat. But every single person I've met at tj has affected me, somehow, in some way - whether it was a good or a bad experience. I've met tutors who've inspired me, and tutors whom I never want to be like. I've met friends I want to keep for a lifetime, and people whom I never want to see again. I've done things which I will remember always - and some things I just want to forget. No, wait. There is nothing. Absolutely nothing. That I have done, that I want to forget. Every single person, every single action - even actions which I now wish I had done differently - has changed me in ways I never thought possible. And now, 2 days from Farewell (after all, we all know Grad is just an excuse to party), I want to put it on record that I've never, and will never, regret a single second of my JC life. I don't regret doing science for 1 and 3/4 years, then switching to arts. I don't regret doing music, and then dropping it. I don't regret (cannot regret) running for council and joining the guitar club, and making some of the best friends I have in my life. And there is no way I regret doing an extra year - if only for the beautiful people I got to know. mp10, the brat posse (a somewhat overlapping distinction, but nvm), dumbass utd, and everybody else from 3304 (tutors included - Mrs. Than, Mrs. Yong, Mr. Low, Mr. Hunter, Mrs. Lofthouse, Mr. Rajesh, Mrs. Lau, Mr. Walker, and even Mr. Bala and Mr. Thompson), vidhi, gayah, chong yang and gang, yasmin and faisal, aqil, prap, izzat, fiz, tiang and the rest of the 28th, raz, nadzira, sean and the other debators, the junior guitar club, the 29th...and everybody else. And then there's the fact that I've discovered what I really want to do. And my passion for lit. And grown more than I would have thought possible. I suppose I am blessed with an attitude which compels me to maximise the potential of the situation, no matter where I may end up, but TJ has given me a lot. And I'll have nothing but good memories of my years here. Even of the bad memories. If that makes sense to anyone at all.

So to all those I've known in TJ, thank you. Good luck. I'll miss you. And I love you - but you already knew that, didn't you? :)

Day 25

I got the interview. :)

And i think i'm getting old. I can't mass dance like I used to...my WHOLE body aches. pfft.

Right. Hitting the books. I've finally got a visible goal, and a lot is at stake.

Make a wish, take a chance, make a change, and breakaway.

Day 27

Fast, isn't it?

Maths Mock wasn't too bad. I think I'm finally building up speed. And the peace I get is here to stay :) Lost 5 pounds, whoop. And girls, we WILL dress up for grad, no matter what the others do, yes? Dress casual for grad...utter rubbish.

Now if I can just sort my feelings out. At least they're manage-able enough to put at the back of my head till after the As. Always be grateful for the small things.

Even the best fall down sometimes. Even the wrong words seem to rhyme. Out of the doubt that fills my mind, I somehow found you and I collide.

Day 29

I was pretty productive today. Finished 3 maths papers and went to church. Then came back, had dinner, and spent an hour deciding on what song to put on blog (thank you wz)

So in order of decision (and subsequent change of mind)
1. How did I fall in love with you (too depressing)
2. Bounce Baby (too assertive)
3. Aphrodisiac (too suggestive)
4. Two Steps Behind You (sweet, but overplayed)
5. Some French Song (to quote za: "too houston-ish". no offence houston darling, but it WAS. heh.)
6. She's No You (jesse mccartney, almost perfect, but too happy)
7. Show me the meaning of Being Lonely (really too bloody depressing)
8. One Last Dance. (Probably the most depressing of the lot, but since it should not really strike a chord with me, I let it go. Besides. It's Taufik. *grinz*)

So, yeah. I've been doing way too much maths. And i still don't feel prepared for tomorrow. Ohwell.

wow.

It just hit me that if everything goes as planned, this time next year I'll be into my 2nd week in Cambridge.

Wow.

Val, your subconscious mind is driven most by Curiosity

This means you are full of questions about life, people, and the potential of your future. You spend more time than others envisioning the possibilities of your life — things that others are too afraid to consider.Your curiosity burns with an almost physical need to know and do more. It's only through new experiences that you feel a greater understanding of yourself or the world — which ultimately is the greatest way for you to feel satisfied.

It is possible that the underlying reason for your drive towards curiosity is a deeply rooted fear of boredom. That means that you are probably more susceptible than others to feel like you're falling into a rut when life slows down into a comfortable routine. You need to make sure you have stimulation in your life — that makes you feel like you're innovating or being exposed to the ideas and experiences that truly inspire you.

With such a strong orientation towards curiosity, you're also prone to a rebellious quality that shows up when you feel you are just going through the motions, and are unable to really influence the world around you. But interestingly enough, your drive towards novel experiences also indicates an openness others don't have, but wish they did. Unconsciously, your curiosity presses you to learn more, experience more, and get the most out of life.

"Study, Valerie Anne Nunis."

i love you i love you i love you ~ Baby Kochamma

Lit is just downright depressing. At least, the lit we're doing now. But all I've really been doing this week is maths - I havn't even TOUCHED econs. I'll start that today.

30 days kids. We'll ace this one together - and throw 3304 a huge party once it's over, ok? Aside from grad, which looks like it's gonna happen :) So it'll be grad, and then a 3304 celebration. What say you?

I came online with things to say, but I can't remember what. (So it's not just you, aaron.) Which really doesn't bode well for my fact retention abilities does it. This is a far cry from secondary school when my classmates and I could pretty much easily memorize 3 page chinese essays. Argh. Speaking of which, I really should brush up on my mandarin. I havn't spoken written or read it in ages, and I really don't want to waste 10 years of working up to A1 standard.

And sy (and the other girls) I've decided where guys are concerned, I'm gonna leave it till after the As. Too much to brood about, and like I said the exams are depressing enough without adding in guy problems. or as it stands, non-problems.

My background song is beginning to depress me. Hold on while I take it off.
(Edit: New background song is also Jesse Mccartney. Because You Live.)

OK. Much better. Here's today's things to do then:
1. MJ paper
2. VJ paper
3. Boey essay
4. International Trade
5. OLPS Feast Day

I can do anything in Him who sustains me.

Warning: This post will be rather complex.

First off. I went to take a look at the TJ forums for the first time in over a year - drawn there by previous whinging on the state of our grad night, I decided to see what the (usually) enthu and opiniated forummers had to say. Well, nobody had new ideas, and the complaints were the same as what we all hear: too expensive, prom wasn't good so grad won't be, and most annoyingly, nobody's going. I was annoyed, to say the least, and posted a spur of the moment reply. Here's hoping it doesn't backfire on me:

"oh honestly. I'm sorry if this is offensive, but I can't for the life of me see why some people can save to spend over a $100 on clothes and stuff, and can't save $85 for a night to remember. I've got friends who are scholars too - at least last year, and sure they had to save. But because they wanted to go, they saved *shrugz*. As would we all. And to clarify things, there will NOT be mass dance. The herd mentality IS annoying, and what's more annoying is that those who do want to go for grad won't be able to if not enough people sign up. Come on TJcians. Grad can only be what you make it. We could have Coldplay (or Jay Chou for the otherwise inclined) come down for grad, but if everybody is as determined to NOT ENJOY IT as they seem to be, it'll be a flop. Stop comparing, and start figuring out how YOU can make it the best night of your jc life. Don't go for the SC. Don't go for the tutors. Go because it's YOUR grad. The culmination of 2 (or 3) yrs in jc. Go because if you don't, you'll never ever have experienced a graduation night. Go because it's your last night EVER as a TJcian. And if you didn't enjoy TJ, go because it'll give you fodder to whine more about it. But for goodness sakes, GO."

Yeah.

Now for other things. I'm not panicked anymore. 34 days, schedule off-kilter, but I'm not panicked. I'll do what I must and leave the rest up to Him.

I've been going for Mass everyday - predominantly because the Redemptorists are doing a novena to the Eucharist this week, and they never fail to draw me. I'm glad I'm going too - there's an infinite sense of peace at Mass - a sense of peace that never really does leave me. So don't worry jinx, I'm in good hands :) I'll probably keep going, even after they finish the novena, because I'm beginning to realise how much I need it. And I'm happy.

"Infinnate Joy." ~Rahel

I've just been hit by a panic attack. I don't know when's the last time I've felt so scared. Staring at questions where I don't even know where to start. And dealing with the plethora of what-ifs. I'm no worse off than most of you, but it scares me all the same.

There's just no limit to the extent to which I could let myself down.

Help.

Let's make this clear straight off, ok?

• I will not tolerate gay/guy/les/girl bashing on my tagboard
• I will not tolerate racist/sexist insinuations on my tagboard
• I will not get involved with any fights you kids have with each other

Got it? So any posts which fall into the above categories will be deleted, and if repeated, banned.

Owkie. The econs symposium wasn't quite as boring as we feared it would be, and I had just about the best 2 days (discounting of course my abysmal econs and maths results). I've got the two bestest girl friends in the world. I've been staring at the screen for about 10 minutes, and still havn't found the words to sufficiently describe how much i love and appreciate them. And those who know me know I'm rarely at a loss for words. So I guess that would have to suffice. :)

Should I get a webcam? It looks like fun. Hrm.

Well the study schedule has started. 38 days. Full steam ahead people.

For the curious, prelims was an ACE. Disappointing, but what I deserve I guess. Aside from econs, which I totally screwed up, having failed all my essays (and landing on the recieving end of a "Study, Valerie Anne Nunis", courtesy of Mrs. Beetsma). It's probably the most frustrating result, because I sacrificed studying both lit AND maths (and for maths it showed, for lit too...paper 5 could have easily killed my A) to do econs. A highly unrewarding endeavour let me tell you. But enough. There's only so much which is really within our control - so that which is within my control, I'll keep control of.

Bon jour mon cheries (cherries. hrm.) - nydc is just a day away MWAhahaha.

And thanks, jinx.